A hit man and woman find themselves in Los Angeles, with 24 hours to kill 6 people. Hit Team, written by Myles McLane, follows the two agents around L.A. whilst they track down each target. When one shooting goes wrong they find themselves next on their boss’s list. Hit Team is like the Sharknado of action movies. Nowadays there is a whole industry dedicated to making films so bad and bizarre that they make their money on the home movie market – usually through stoned university students looking for a laugh. Hit Team certainly falls into that category. It’s hard to be offended by it because you can’t take it all that seriously. It seems purposefully amateur and very self-aware. The comedy is forced and the delivery is wooden – much like a cheesy porno. It’s trying to be The Room for a new generation. The difference is that Hit Team knows how silly it is. The characters are completely un-likeable. The male assassin is a sexist, harassing creep and his female associate has nothing much to do except roll her eyes at him and provide countless ass-shots for the audience. I still don’t know whether this film is aimed at people like its lead male or if we’re meant to enjoy how dramatically gross he is. The closest the film comes to being humorous is when we’re in the company of the two detectives who are always a step behind the killers. Their collaboration is mildly amusing at moments but ultimately they are as odd and offensive as the protagonists.
There are fart, rape and necrophilia jokes a plenty and they all land with a thud. It feels like every other word is “bitch” or “whore” and I struggle to be entertained by a minute of women-shaming, let alone an hour and a half. This film isn’t aimed at someone like me but I think even its target audience will grow bored with its repetition. The men lure at the women who use their sexuality to defeat them but who are still objectified in the process. The film is bright and saturated. It feels like you’re in a Tony Hawk’s PS2 game from the early-nineties. Hit Team was an altogether baffling experience. It seems to be trying a little too hard to be “so bad it’s good”, which detracts from its sincerity and the enjoyment of the experience. The plot keeps moving at a reasonable pace but I was still bored by the numerous molestation jokes and by just how vulgar every character was.
Hit Team is available to watch here.
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