Turn it off.

If you are foolish enough to turn up late to your local multiplex chain, for a screening you have paid a lot of money for, on a Sunday night, then why make the experience even more frustrating for everybody else who is forced to sit with you, in that screen, for over three hours. I understand, you are frustrated that you are three rows from the front. You are irritated that the cruel man behind the ice cream counter charged you over £4 for those three pathetic ‘half’ scoops; I know, my Father experienced the same agony and felt compelled to share his anger with this ice-cream thief and with me throughout the advertisements. If you are this frustrated then please wait until after the film to text/tweet/message/update your family and friends about this. You’ve paid for this film. TURN OFF YOUR PHONE and enjoy the film.

I do not care if it’s only the trailers. The trailers are the most anticipated part of any cinema trip. You don’t know exactly what you’ll get, and for cinema nerds like me it’s a thrill to try and work out what these films are and whether they’ll flop or not. Or, for others, like the delightful man behind me, reserve your right to vocally judge each trailer. His popcorn stuffed face blurted a loud and highly undignified “shit” as each trailer closed.

Please turn your mobile phones off, it’s just rude. Modern technology is irritating me more and more each day and trips to my local cinema are proving to be no exception. I have paid for this ticket and this experience with a few of my remaining funds, do not taint my time in the screen. It may not be for you, but for me, trips to the cinema are relaxing and exciting and the greatest form of escapism. I take great joy in sitting alone in the dark learning, admiring and understanding cinema.

I am ten rows behind you and still the glare from your social networking profile is distracting me from Michael Caine’s delightful face and vocal tone. Turn off your phone you imbecile.

Thanks for reading and let’s all keep supporting our beloved film industry.